My guy has written his first book - a novella called HorrorCon. I’m not just saying this, but it’s brilliant. He’s an incredible writer with an amazing imagination.

What’s more, you can buy it from Lulu now.

Oh, and guess who did the photography and design? :-)

More. Many, many more on the National Geographic site.

I spent loads of time in trees when I was growing up. One of my earliest memories is of a marvelous grassy park with a thick verge of mature trees that at the time seemed a veritable forest. I suppose it was more likely a few small trees. The last tree I remember climbing was in Italy - a giant cherry tree just next to our house, that I climbed to harvest its fat juicy fruit. I didn’t hang about to admire the view, however, as the tree often had more ants than cherries.

I think I’m due a tree climb in the near future.

Kew opens botanical art gallery. Shame the video isn’t embeddable. In Pictures. 

Well, I would do if it didn’t cost me so bloody much.

You see, I’ve never really worn a lot of makeup, but when one gets to a certain age, despite the advice that “less is more”, one tends to become a little obsessed with the idea that makeup will fix all those little (and not so little) flaws that seem to pop up on a regular basis. But I’ve made a not-quite-mid-year resolution to stop buying cosmetics unless I actually run out of stuff. Truth is, I’ve tried just about everything now and I can assure you, there is no magic formula, no highly-priced miracle, nothing at all that will do much more than enhance a little. After all my experimenting and spending, however, I have come up with some favourites that I will now share for the benefit of anyone else that is still in “I’ll try anything” mode…

Creams, lotions, potions - all bollocks. Honestly, every last one of them is a crock. You can spend a fortune or spend a little and you will still get virtually the same product. Serums? Bullshit. Night cream, day cream, eye cream? The only difference is in their texture. If it feels nice, buy it. All they are are a bit of protection for your skin and can, in a limited way, lock in a little moisture. What they can’t do, unless they’ve got a lot of retinol in them (the only topical treatment actually proven to do anything - but only in large amounts, for which you need a prescription), is affect the skin itself. Eat well and your skin will look its best. That said, I do now use a tiny bit of Bio Oil on my face. It smells nice, absorbs well, goes a long way and is a fairly natural product. I use quite a lot at night and my skin feels lovely the next day. A tiny bit in the morning and makeup goes on smoothly.

Oil under your eyes can make them a little… well, oily, so I use No7 Protect & Perfect Eye Cream. It’s reasonably priced, lightweight and apparently has some retinol in, for what it’s worth.

Concealers - My biggest personal issue and largest expenditure to date is with my eyes. There is, I’ve determined, little you can do for dark circles and bags if you are predisposed to them. I’ve bought every light-reflecting, under eye miracle concealer on the market and they’re all shit, with one notable exception: Dr Harnik’s Dark Circle Corrector. It’s a yellow concealer that goes over the dark circles and a beige that covers the yellow. Nice and smooth, last all day and best of all is only £6.99! Compared to £25+ for Elizabeth Arden and Givenchy? No-brainer. Under eye bags? Don’t bother. It’s surgery or live with it, sadly.

For foundation, I’m still in love with Lily Lolo mineral foundations. You can swim in this stuff - it covers well and stays on. I think it looks really natural as well. Hopefully!

Eye shadows can be a tricky one. At a certain age it’s best to stay away from glittery shadows and creams and that’s actually quite hard to find, even in the expensive ranges. I like Benefit Silky Powder Eye Shadow. Nice and smooth and good, natural colours. Benefit also do a nice eye shadow primer, but I just use the Dr Harnik on my lids now and it does just as well. If I really want a little glitter, I quite like the Lancome “Best of Color Focus” compact I picked up at the airport last summer. Eight colours that will probably last me forever which is just as well as it looks like it’s either an airport-only thing or has been discontinued.

Eyeliners really aren’t rocket science. If they go on smoothly and stay on, then they’re good. You don’t have to spend a fortune. I actually prefer to wet a fine brush and use a dark brown eye shadow.

Mascara is another story. The best, always and forever has got to be Lancome. Really - no other really comes close in my experience. Most of their mascaras are good, but I really like Virtuose.

I’ve given up on lippy, frankly. Always looks unnatural and feels icky. I use any old lipliner that’s the same colour as my lips and I use it to fill in the whole lip area. Then I top it with Elizabeth Arden’s Eight Hour Lip Protectant Stick (mmm, rosemary) and maybe a little Ruby & Millie hot gloss (mmm, cinnamon).

And there you go. The contents of my makeup bag. I think that’s quite enough girly bollocks now. Hopefully my film has dried and I can scan some negatives now.